The Art of the Sexy Selfie: An act of self-love

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I have spent the last couple of hours Googling how to take a sexy selfie or sensual self-portrait.  Just checking out what the internet has to say about it. Whatever you want to call it, it is an art form and a process that you create with yourself, alone and captivated by your own beauty. You don’t need anything other than your own uniqueness and your cell phone but there are some tips I am going to share with you that will have you falling in love with yourself and gasping at your brilliance.

All of the articles I have read say things like “how to wow your new lover” “how to make their jaw drop” “how to take the perfect shot for your man” and not one of them refer to how liberating it is to creatively and playfully capture your own beautiful body for yourself. What about the feeling of wonder and sweet acceptance that washes over you when you witness yourself in these stunning pictures? What about the radical self-love and empowerment that grows from the sensual play that is ignited while in flow with yourself?

Capturing a sensual selfie can be liberating and creative, a divine way to connect with yourself, witness your beautiful body and it’s shapes. And it can absolutely be all about your pleasure first and then if you choose to share them with humans who you adore and respect then that is also an added layer of deliciousness. Plus it makes sense that if you are in love with your process, your photos and what you are sharing with others then it makes it all the more sexy and captivating.

I personally have been a huge fan of the art of the sexy selfie for as long as I can remember. I discovered my love of the process when I used to travel alone for gigs and stay in hotels by myself. I would often have so much energy rushing through me after a show, a full face of makeup and some sexy costumes packed so I started messing around with body shapes and striking poses for myself, sometimes in the mirror, often using the lighting or furniture in the hotel room. It felt creative and captivating. I also loved looking through the images I had captured and witnessing myself, sometimes giggling at how deeply I would drop into my seductress energy, often cringing at how awkward and messy I could be. One thing that I love most about taking them is that I have rarely shared them with anyone, they are for my own private collection. For me, the creative art is soulfully for my pleasure and creative expansion. But when you are creating art that good, why not share it with humans who you love and who deserve it…or to get some sexy attention. Whatever floats your boat.

I guess it goes without saying that if you are going to send sexy selfies to others, make sure they are conscious humans who you trust or if you do get a kick out of sending them to strangers on the internet make sure you cannot be identified, for your own safety and because not everyone has an epically beautiful heart like you do.

Deanne Love Inner Wisdom Blood Magic: Free Bleeding

If you have never tried to capture your beautiful body or you feel like you wouldn’t know where to start I have some inspiration for you. You may have tried and felt less-than-sexy, because not every image makes you feel like a smoldering siren, in fact some might make you feel less than courageous. But here are some tips that are going to make the process glorious and the end result a beautiful capture of who you really are.

Remember to have fun and find what lights you up and drops you into your pleasure. The more you enjoy the process, the more delicious the photos are going to radiate what you are feeling. Also know that you don’t have to look a certain way or be like anyone else, your own style and connection with your body is the sexiest thing that exists. Claim the process for yourself, it is divinely you.


There is no specific mood that you have to be in to take a sexy selfie, you don’t have to wait until you are turned on or “in the mood” You can come to the process feeling playful, firey, soft, sweet or wildly seductive.

Taking a moment to connect to how you are feeling and without needing to change it in any way. Take a few breaths, closing your eyes and placing your hands on your body. Connect. Feel. Move. And then take a look around you. How is the mood of your space? The lighting? Is it clean? Are there props or furniture in the room that you could use or move off to the side? You don’t have to orchestrate a full day professional photoshoot to capture something sensual and sweet but no one needs to see your overflowing washing basket or messy makeup drawer in the background. All attention needs to be drawn to you so set the mood of the space to create a beautiful backdrop to your gorgeousness.

I have rented air bnbs and taken some epic iPhone sexy selfies, having an incredible time with music pumping and sun streaming through the windows. And other times I have been in my living room with a beautiful rug, or outdoors at the beach, in a hotel room or on my balcony.

Keep in mind that being sexy or sensual can feel and look like different things at different times. It can be as beautiful as a fully clothed pose that lights up your curves and makes you feel connected to yourself or as suggestive as a sheer sheet draped over your incredible body revealing pieces of your divine beauty.


a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist

Sharing your sexy selfies is a total choice but having a muse or inspiration can be a powerful way to ignite your creativity and pleasure. Perhaps it is a crush or a fantasy, maybe it is a lover or partner. It could be archetypes that you like to play with during your own practices or an alter ego you love to personify. Choosing energy to play to or create for can activate sensations and inspiration that can give you more of a spark and courage. Whether you share them or not, sometimes the thought can really give a boost of energy to your sexy selfie session.


Music is everything. It is a whole vibe and sets the mood for how you move and position your incredible body. Music provokes sensation and movement that can drop you deep into feeling yourself.

I made you a playlist called Pleasure. You can find it here on Spotify. Enjoy.

I highly recommend creating a playlist that makes you feel alive or relaxed, whatever vibe you choose to call in. You could ask a friend for their playlist or if you are creating an image for a lover or partner you could ask them to send you a song or two, that way you can move to their energy and let them know that their song choice activated something in you.


The whole art is a huge workout for me. I use the 10-second timer and set my phone up in a number of areas around the room, so I have 10 seconds to get myself in position. I spend most of the time running back to my phone resetting the timer, I love the energy and movement this brings to the shoot. It is a hyper-creative and physical act sometimes to get yourself in place at just the right time. Of course, you could invest in a remote control if you need some more time and space to get your body into the ideal position.

Before you begin taking pics it is a beautiful idea to drop into some embodied sensations, shimmying your hips, activating your spine, dropping down into the energy of your womb space or yoni, releasing tension and heightening sensation in your body so you are ready to radiate. This can be as relaxing as rolling around on your bed or as stirring as dancing your feelings for a few songs. You might even like to give yourself a breast massage or indulge in a self-pleasure practice. These are your pics so dropping into what feels right for you and your space is going to make the process even more delicious.

After taking thousands and thousands of sensual selfies myself and talking to some beautiful sisters who also indulge in the devotional practice, here are some tips to help you tap into courage and connection even when you might not be feeling it.

Full disclosure, I took some images of myself for this podcast and when I started I was absolutely not feeling it. I was swimming in self-criticism and feeling anything less than sexy, on Day 26 of my cycle feeling slow and heavy I went with that vibe. To be honest, all I really wanted in that moment was a hug and maybe a nap, so I offered that energy up to the process. As I moved more deeply into slow movement and a few costume changes I began to feel more playful and sensual. I started to deepen into the creative flow and let that dance me through. I absolutely adore the images I got out of the shoot, they are new, fresh and record a beautiful moment in time. You don’t have to feel hot to adore yourself, you don’t even have to deeply love all parts of you to appreciate your power and embrace your emotions. Just like in partnerships with another human it is often when you open and reveal parts of you that you can deepen your bond with each other, the same synergy exists in the most important relationship of your life, the one you have with yourself. What if you allow yourself to be truly open and vulnerable with yourself. Remember this process is not about trying to impress anyone or changing parts of you, it is a practice of devotion to self.

Natural lighting is always a divine idea. If the mood strikes you try to capture some sexy selfies in the golden light of sunset. If you have some big windows or you are fortunate enough to have afternoon sunlight streaming into your house or garden, make the most of it.

It’s all about the angle. Have fun playing around with the angles of your curves, tilting your head, changing the position of your camera or your body. Get creative. When you find a shape or direction that accentuates your radiant beauty, playful personality or cheeky energy…rock that. Stay there, play there, capture that while playing with facial expressions and slight changes in your pose to bring more of the energy and shape you are desiring. Get to know yourself. Every part of you is beautiful but some angles are more delicious and captivating than others. The process is about falling in love with yourself even more deeply so getting creative with your angles and knowing which parts of your body you really love enhancing. That doesn’t mean you are trying to hide any part of yourself it is just about letting your features shine.

You can also gently put a spotlight on your insecurities through this process if that is something you feel like exploring and healing. If there are parts of your incredible body that you are feeling less than in love with perhaps you could play with shapes and angles that highlight them and really give yourself time to celebrate them, call in acceptance, feel into all the reasons why you are grateful for that part of your body. Happy to be alive and have the scars to prove it. Adoring your stretch marks for the children they were created with. Bathing in love for your rolls and the sensual softness they ignite.

I recently asked a friend what body part she would be most self-conscious about if she had to pose nude. She said her butt. I smiled, remembering we will never see ourselves the way others see us. I think she has a super sexy butt and although I love all parts of her, I had always thought she was even more gorgeous because of her divine booty. SO it kind of surprised me.

Perhaps you can try seeing yourself and your body through the eyes of your bestie, an adoring lover or a beautiful partner.

Wear something that makes you feel sexy. Sometimes that is nothing, sometimes that is ripped jeans and other times it is the most exquisite lingerie that feels divine against your skin and ignites bliss in your senses. You don’t have to buy a new wardrobe. Grab a sheet, sarong or curtain.

Get creative with your set up. Lighting, pose, props, colours and once you feel like you have crafted something you love, take a bunch of shots making minimal adjustments. Play with close-ups, further away and full body. Have fun. Simple is stunning. And so are you. Enjoy capturing the miracle and beauty of your physical form.

Setting up your camera. This is equally as creative as the posing, lighting and background set up. I have been known to wedge my phone into rocks, tree branches, resting against a pile of books or coffee cups. I have also cracked several phone screens this way. Investing in a simple and safe tripod for your phone is ideal. I like to set my phone up in a few different areas around the room, put the camera on mirror mode so I can see myself in the screen and use it to help me create shapes, then I set the 10-sec timer and start to play.

Your unique individuality is sexy. You are beautiful. That is a fact. Embrace it. There is nothing sexier than a woman who is comfortable in her own beautiful skin.

Relax into it. Especially your face. Try opening and closing your jaw a few times, softening your lips and gazing into the camera.

A beautiful tip from a love of mine…Know that 95% of the pictures might make you cringe.
Looking at the photos a second time once you’ve taken a bunch and have decided to stop, can make you less critical and focused on how to take a ‘better one’. It allows you to see the beauty in what is.

Work those shapes. Your body is a wonderland of possibility and while this can be overwhelming sometimes, you can simply close your eyes for a moment and imagine your feelings becoming a shape in your body. Are you feeling shy but playful? Perhaps you could turn slightly away, showing off your beautiful back but glancing towards the camera with a curious smile.

Perhaps you are feeling empowered and direct. You could play with your upright priestess posture with a revealing suggestion but fully embracing your power.


Perhaps you are feeling delicious but relaxed so you might set up your camera to capture you reclining in a beautiful chair or on your bed.

Radiate confidence. There are ways to shine your brilliance even when you are not feeling it 100% or even if you are feeling awkard af. Eye contact. Look towards the camera, make connection. Posture is everything, take a deep breath, open your heart, roll your shoulders open, imagine confidence in your spine whether you are standing or laying back let that energy radiate through you.

And if you want to feel more sexy, activate your pussy power. Drop your energy and sensation down into your yoni by taking a moment to pulse your hips forwards and backwards while placing one hand on your heart and one hand on your yoni, activating and stirring your energy that is always and forever with you even if you are not connecting to her at all times. This energy doesn’t have to feel a certain way, it is unique to you. As you begin to find a gentle rhythmic breath you can gently squeeze and pulsate your pelvic floor muscles as if you were drawing fresh and sensual energy up into your divine body through your yoni and imagine a swirling and stirring of that energy dance through your pelvis, then gently ripple and flow up your spine and the front of your body into your heart space, swirling around your boobs and then caressing your face. This is your energy, this is your power, always with you whenever you need her. Sacred and unique to you.

Own it. Play. This is the ultimate me time. It is just you and your phone, maybe some music and candles, some chocolate and wine if that feels delicious too. Claim this time for yourself. Take the time to look through your photos with a vision of love, giggle, cringe and delete if you must but embrace one or two at least that captures you in all of your beautiful realness. Witness yourself, marvel at your creativity, sweetness and miraculous form. If you hear your inner voice trying to convince you that you are anything less than divine or trying to relay any of societies ridiculous beauty standards to you take a breath and reach for a higher thought, recognise the old stories or try repeating some empowering affirmations.



For a super high vibe tip, as you delete each photo instead of being put off by what you look like say “I love you” or “thank you” as you delete each picture.

I personally spend a short amount of time deleting any pics that don’t work and then after I have selected a few shots that I love, sometimes just 1 or 2, I take some time to really witness myself and appreciate my beautiful body, share my gratitude and appreciation for my beauty and health. This part of the process never used to be easy but I can really find a deep and connected love for my body through processes like taking sexy selfies. I stay away from editing the photos with any retouching or smoothing, while that is a personal choice, I want to honor my body for it’s true and natural shape. Sometimes I will add an Insta filter for a sweet effect and I know there are some cool Light Room preset filters you can get. The process of capturing these pics has taught me acceptance, I am not trying to change my body.

And if you want to add even more creativity to the process, here is an idea for you. Next week a friend and I are doing a nude photo session with a professional photographer. We are excited to see how she styles the shoot and captures our beauty. Once we get the images back we are going to draw ourselves and each other to transform our images into another piece of art. I can’t take any credit for this idea. Thanks Grace.

I’ll say it again. you are beautiful. You are a work of art.

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Fierce clarity.  Wild creativity.  Spirited courage.

These three pursuits sometimes get me in trouble. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Are you with me? 

Let’s do the deep work together. Let’s find focus in a world of distractions. Let’s make change. Let’s connect to our inner wisdom.


You will mostly find me activating people to drop from their head, down into their body. That is where the real wisdom is. 

I made a commitment over a decade ago to awaken my deepest intelligence through creative movement and activated voice. Let’s dance. Let’s take up space together.

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